Remember when Vicky's was nasty?

Right. I don't really either.

Here's the thing about Victoria's Secret's marketing. It's full of these non-human, glossy Amazons with lovely buoyant tits and enviably tousled, hot-rollered hair and cellulite-free, airbrushy, CGI muscle tone. Those girls are sanitized right out of their humanity. And even through the most gossamer garments, they have neither nipples nor pubic hair. They represent something very strange-- an idealized, antiseptic sexuality that, ultimately, I don't find particularly sexy. I don't care how low they droop their eyelids and how many little pink tongue-tips peek out from artfully parted lips.

The thing about Vicky's catalogs and advertising is that it's all notably lacking the stink of coitus.

Too neat. Too dry. Too hairless. Too pristine.

So what of this?



via Le Chagrin, via distjecta

Does anyone have any recollection of this ad campaign? This "Fall on Your Knees" collection? Clearly, it was out in 2005, as designated by the image's text. But, I mean, I've been receiving roughly 35 Vicky's catalogs per week since long before I even had enough flesh to load into one of their underwired, cantilevered, lycra-satin contraptions. And yet, I'd not seen any photos of this nature from this very mainstream, very commercial retail outlet until today.

But, my goodness, it's an interesting photo. Look at this thing. Look at the photo quality. It's grainy. Usually, Vicky's photos are shot in dreamy softfocus, or they're sharp, daylit and frank. This one's not even lit well enough to show off the garment to full effect. Her tits overflow the bra just a little too much for it to be flattering. The elastic of the model's thong digs into her hip, creating that little splush of skin and muscle (such as pertains to the actual texture and viscosity of the flesh on even the skinniest of human animals). That sort of thing would have been carved off with a digital scalpel, so as to create the perfect (non-existent) smooth silhouette of the female form, were this a normal Victoria's Secret marketing image. And there's that hand holding that spotlight or whatever other piece of photographic equipment it is over there on the left. And yet it's clearly intended to be the final version of the shot-- the text has already been laid over the image. Interesting.

And of course, I can't ignore the content. Fall on your knees. Interesting.

When was the last time you saw an implication of fellatio that went beyond a fingertip placed coyly against a tooth in your weekly bushel of Vicky's catalogs? Right. I never have either.

This woman's head is cropped out of the shot. She has her hands on the naked thighs of some anonymous porny-looking male body. She kneels before him. Carefully cropped just outside of the shot, her mouth is aligned with his cock. Remarkable.

It's probably no wonder I've never seen this campaign before. And it's no wonder why, though I certainly own my fair share of regularly replenished dainty underpinnings bearing this very brand name, I've never heard of the "Fall on Your Knees" collection. I remember, a couple years ago, the local news in Nashville reporting on outraged mall shoppers who objected to the too-lifelike mannequins in the Vicky's windows. "Lifelike," of course, was a euphemism for "having nipples." Honestly. It was hilarious. It's not like these mannequins had little plastic labia majora oozing out the elastic of their lacy little drawers. Their molded breasts merely came to peaks. And it weirded people right the hell on out.

But this shot? Not only does it seem more real-- more reflective of real bodies and real sex acts-- but it's got all the semiotics of porny blowjobs. Complete with distinct self-consciousness with regard to presence of the camera (see spotlight in the shot).


It's just too dirty for prime time, isn't it? All she needs is a pearl necklace and she'd blow the Vicky's fembot image right out of the water.

I kinda wish she did have one.

Now THAT would be hot.