Hey, there, Robin! Is that the Bat--uh... Bunny... Signal?

In my anniversary post, I stated that I hoped to make my blog into something of a beacon. I've decided to write this current post, in lieu of posting profiles on every cotton-pickin' online dating service the internet has to offer. Quite frankly, I have no interest in wading through tiresome emails from people who *think* they like women with pretentious vocabularies and a particularly quirky variety of brassiness.

This is not to say that I'm starved for romantic attention-- quite the opposite --but I do not seem to be drawing folks who are on the same page that I am... nor do they seem to be showing an interest in reading to see what that page might have to say. I would like for this to change. And for the ones who DO seem to be on a page within the vicinity of my own, well, I'm thinking we both my benefit from your finding yourself within this funnel of light, too.

And so, I'm erecting a metaphysical lighthouse of sorts in this post. Let's see what happens. Welcome to my experiment.

A Proscribed Reading List for Potential Suitors of Me:

1. Killing the Buddha, Jeff Sharlet and Peter Manseau, eds.-- I've posted on this book before and I've linked its website and Jeff Sharlet's (one of its editors) blog ten ways to Tuesday. I don't find any religion in particular to be terribly helpful in my own life, but I find the ways in which this book gauges the temperature of American religiosity to be perfectly fascinating. I think it should be required reading for everyone, not just for Fans of Marjorie. If you doubt that real religious diversity and real thoughtful engagement with all and assorted gods still exists in this country, then doubt no more. Beyond that, Sharlet and Manseau are dynamite and engaging writers, the both of them. And, they've amassed contributions from some of this country's best and brightest novelists, essayists, language-experimenters and word-junkies, such that there's something for everyone. Even if you only get as far as Darcy Steinke's uber-hot Song of Songs contribution. And though I do have my own anarchic, slap-dash variety of perpetual spiritual questing, this book did not, in any way, make me feel alienated from all the folks who are opting for slightly more traditional paths towards The Sacred. That's saying something.

2. Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World, Isa Chandra Moskowitz-- A traditional cupcake contains wheat, dairy and sugar... three things that I'm working very hard to minimally include in my diet. But god knows I love me some cupcakes! Now some of my readers-- the ones with whom I exchange frequent gossipy emails-- may think that I'm referring to our code word "cupcake." I am not. That code remains top secret (wink, wink). I really am talking about delicious, frosted, spongy cupcakes. However, if there is a brave one among you who can present me with a homemade vegan Red Velvet cupcake that doesn't taste like health food, you just might be entitled to a larger chunk of my heart that I might be inclined to give you otherwise.

3. The Complete Book of Ayurvedic Home Remedies, Vasant Lad-- It's not that I have an active phobia about doctors trained in the methods of contemporary Western medicine. It's just that every time I go to a conventional doctor, they try to ply me with drugs (for some negligibly minor condition, or some natural state, such as being a woman in the prime my child-bearing years)-- to which I'll generally have a reaction, or suffer from some side effect or other... and it's just not worth it to me, when, in general, I'm blessedly healthy and can rely on my body's natural functions to right themselves in due course. And so, I have found the little tricks in this book to be altogether more helpful than any doctor yet. No, I do not understand why rubbing sesame oil on my feet makes my headache go aways. But it does. And no, I don't fully grasp why touching my forehead to my knees makes my tummy feel better. But it does. And so, I think this is a book that should be in everyone's personal library, not just mine and my mother's.

4. Elements of Style, Illustrated (also known as The Strunk &White)-- There are only so many more emails I can receive in which question marks have been dropped from sentences in which they would have been appropriate before I start taking you to task. I've always assured you that I wouldn't put you in my blog, but you know who you are. I fully respect that you are a lot smarter than me in most ways that count and I like that about you. But if you don't start friggin' putting question marks at the end of your friggin' questions, I'm likely to haul off and spank you. Crap, that's not much of a deterrent, is it? That said, I REALLY do get off on grammar. My favorite part is ensuring all the little prepositions find their way to their rightful homes within any given sentence. I love some goddamn prepositions! And this book is the gold standard... and when they published the version with pictures? And cute little grammar joke captions? It just gives me that special feeling deep down in my...brain.

5. The Synonym Finder, J. I. Rodale-- At work, I carry this book around like Linus with his blanket. It makes me feel powerful and banishes all insecurities. And I spent many happy, procrastinatory afternoons with my copy sitting in my lap during grad school. If you think more associatively than literally when you play with language, this is the thesaurus for you. So many beautiful, beautiful words!

6. Anything bell hooks every wrote-- I don't suppose I ever really thought that much about race, other than in an abstract of-course-I'm-not-a-racist sort of way, before my undergrad sociology professor assigned a bunch of bell hooks' essays that discuss the concepts of "white standard" and "male standard" and all the other arbitrary ways in which some folks have the privilege of not thinking about their respective social standing, while others are forced to deal with such issues every day. She's able to articulate so many ideas that I found so meaningful and resonant that discovering her felt like a homecoming. I want you, dear potential suitor, to understand that I question my racial identity every day, not because I'm part of a stigmatized, marginalized group, but because I DIDN'T EARN my social privilege that allows me NOT to think about it every day. It's not guilt-- it's just that being born a white American is like being given a monstrous trust fund. I didn't do anything to earn that capital myself and so, I feel kinda funny spending it willy-nilly. And bell hooks was able to suckle that idea into my amorphous 19-year-old social conscience in a way that I felt my foundations veritably shaken.

7. I Have Not Been Able to Get Though to Everyone, Anna Moskovakis-- Really, this book is just a place holder. It's a recent favorite and it's a brilliant poetry monograph by an American woman who is both alive and under the age of 60. I do know that pretty much the only folks who read contemporary poetry are other poets. It is not a prerequisite for wooing me that you be a poet. And so, I know it's a tall order to expect anyone to actually, you know, read some damn poems. But it's good stuff and I find value in it. A lot of value. I'll consider this one to be extra credit. How's that?

8. Jelly Roll, Kevin Young-- This is another place holder. Any poetry monograph by a non-white, living American under the age of 60 will do. But I love this one quite a lot. Actually, of the poetry I've read in the last five years or so, I've found that some of the most downright sexy work is being written by African American men. Maybe it's because they seem so joyful and celebratory in their use of dirty words for female anatomy, but these guys-- Tyehimba Jess, A. Van Jordan, Kevin Young and so one-- know their way around some flattering pillow talk, I'll tell you what! But, again, it's extra credit.

9. My blog-- If you want to get to know me, here's where I am. I'll tell you all you need to know, if you're reading closely enough.


10. The Ethical Slut: A guide to infinite sexual possibilities, Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt-- This layperson's guide to polyamory was recommended to me by more than one friend over the course of several years. I recently decided it was time to finally read it. The style is kinda goofy and lingo-ridden, but it clearly and simply articulates all the qualms I have with traditional expectations for relationships and gender roles within those relationships and then offers an alternative. I don't buy all of the arguments in this book... and I think it's rather (sl)utopian in many ways... but it describes an alternative to social constructs that I find to be restrictive beyond the scope of your average human animal. I'm not looking for a wild life of free-wheeling and swinging, but the idea of engaging with other human animals in whatever way feels most unaffected and innate without fear of damaging, manipulating or deceiving other people, well... it's very appealing. And this book describes some tools that might help make it work. And maybe it can. Wanna try?



Happy reading, my loves. Keep me posted on what you learn.