"from the cunt to the head is/ a Mobius strip/ that connects us to death" --Eleni Sikelianos, excerpted from "Notes Toward the Township of Cause of Trouble (Venus Cabinet Revealed)"
Ha! Why, thank you! Just think-- if I had more free time, I might be able to spout out even more of this nonsense, such as appears on this very blog! What would the work do with THAT hot mess, I wonder?
Actually a hot mess sounds pretty good right now cuz it's 4 degrees outside. And we just had another informer. It was blowing 12 inches.
More free time would allow you write an even more thorough analysis of the movie Crash then move on to redeeming qualities to be found in other Sandra Bullock movies.
Sandra Bullock movies worth the effort of discussion... wait... don't tell me... surely, there must be one. Surely...
But, didn't I tell you I don't get why such things as "Iowans" exist? That sounds perfectly miserable. Remind me not to visit.
Meanwhile, I work in an office with no windows and park underground. I see less than a minute of actual daylight every day. Who needs hair? Who needs eyes? I'd do just fine equipped with all the evolutionary necessities of your average subterranean mammal. Might could use some more intimidating front teeth, though. Might have to chew my way thru the walls around here one of these days.
I was a little surprised by the lack of social tact when you turned to me at that meeting and said, "I don't know why anyone would want to live in that snow covered shithole that you come from." It's not so bad really, I come from hardy midwestern stock and I like to eat food. Then in a futile effort, I tried to extol to you the virtues of changing seasons. But you were saying something to the effect of, 'I like the predictability of varying shades of gray everyday of the year.'
The thing I like about my job is, this time around I get to play starting quarterback. And this time around all of the women are post-menopausal.
It's true. No one has ever accused me of ever being anything beyond blunt and/or biting. I find I am frequently the meanest girl in the room. I think that deserves a tiara, but no one seems to share this belief. *sigh*
But I must say that I *think* I said the EXACT OPPOSITE of me liking gray things. In fact, one of the things I find so unappealing about the midwest is all the gray! It's dark all day long in Columbus! Seriously! How do people fight off the unrelenting S.A.D. all winter long when, not only are the days incredibly short, but when the sun decides to make a brief cameo, it's weak and wan and just plain doesn't get the job done??!! Though, I will confess, I do have an affection for all the varying shades of BROWN that are to be found in the desert-- though, an extended spring does render the landscape a lovely shade of dusky green. But gray ain't no kinda brown!
By your (ironic, I assume) mention of post-menopausal women, I can see that you miss me. I may be snarky but at least I...uh... still menstruate?
It was overcast and raining every single day that I was in Columbus last week and it was a pleasant reprieve from the bitter cold mornings. I concede, cannot I wage this uphill battle of defending my native climate. This Iowa winter we are having is the bastard child of a filthy whore. And that is not to suggest that I am above consorting with such types.
The SAD won't get me Marjorie. I am a new day rising.
Wow the writers have definitely returned to The Daily Show. Are you watching their take on the Roger Clemens congressional steroid hearings. When I started little league in 1986, Clemens was the biggest thing in baseball. 22 years later I'm sitting her cracking up over jokes about The Rocket bleeding through his designer pants.
While I'm on the subject of bloodletting. I just wanted to a make a joke about how I work with so many old ladies. Previous to your comment I had never even considered menstruation to be a requirement for someone I might take a special interest in. Now that it's out there.. Yes, I would prefer that my women yet still be flowing. For now, that's probably quite enough discussion of my least favorite food.
Yes, your absolutely correct. I miss seeing your striking blue eyes and playful curly locks. And you have very nice shoes Miss.
Well if you're going to use a strange twist on a post-menopausal joke to try to lure me out, I'm just gonna bring the C- game. Actually a well placed shoe compliment can be solid work. But hair and eyes, that is hack. That's awkward beginner/creep at the bar stuff.
Did this already take and ugly turn? I didn't mean for it to. I do tend to take things a half-step too far, but I really am just being silly here. I like to write too.
"The fire won't get me Brian" From my little brother's all time favorite movie "Backdraft"
Men proclaiming how fuckable I am is kinda par for the course on this blog. Right, Joe? JB? Others? Of course, I've usually baited them... but, you know, whatever gets the job done! It's the best sort of free press. I figure, the more of that message that I put out into the universe, the more likely I am to get that variety of attention in abundance.
Now, the question of how to focus the signal so that creepy old dudes and socially crippled ne'er-do-wells don't get caught in the beam? Yeah, I'm still working on that one.
But anyway, as anti-feminist as it might be, one who isn't much more than a nerd-girl in her soul of souls does what she can to (over)compensate for the lack of debauchery in her awkward adolescence.
So, ugh. There's my nauseating node of introspection for the day. I am so tedious...
12 comments:
I hope that very soon your employer grants you more free-time and an increase in compensation for your work.
You deserve it Champ.
Ha! Why, thank you! Just think-- if I had more free time, I might be able to spout out even more of this nonsense, such as appears on this very blog! What would the work do with THAT hot mess, I wonder?
I'll show you a hot mess.
Actually a hot mess sounds pretty good right now cuz it's 4 degrees outside. And we just had another informer. It was blowing 12 inches.
More free time would allow you write an even more thorough analysis of the movie Crash then move on to redeeming qualities to be found in other Sandra Bullock movies.
Sandra Bullock movies worth the effort of discussion... wait... don't tell me... surely, there must be one. Surely...
But, didn't I tell you I don't get why such things as "Iowans" exist? That sounds perfectly miserable. Remind me not to visit.
Meanwhile, I work in an office with no windows and park underground. I see less than a minute of actual daylight every day. Who needs hair? Who needs eyes? I'd do just fine equipped with all the evolutionary necessities of your average subterranean mammal. Might could use some more intimidating front teeth, though. Might have to chew my way thru the walls around here one of these days.
I was a little surprised by the lack of social tact when you turned to me at that meeting and said, "I don't know why anyone would want to live in that snow covered shithole that you come from."
It's not so bad really, I come from hardy midwestern stock and I like to eat food.
Then in a futile effort, I tried to extol to you the virtues of changing seasons. But you were saying something to the effect of, 'I like the predictability of varying shades of gray everyday of the year.'
The thing I like about my job is, this time around I get to play starting quarterback. And this time around all of the women are post-menopausal.
It's true. No one has ever accused me of ever being anything beyond blunt and/or biting. I find I am frequently the meanest girl in the room. I think that deserves a tiara, but no one seems to share this belief. *sigh*
But I must say that I *think* I said the EXACT OPPOSITE of me liking gray things. In fact, one of the things I find so unappealing about the midwest is all the gray! It's dark all day long in Columbus! Seriously! How do people fight off the unrelenting S.A.D. all winter long when, not only are the days incredibly short, but when the sun decides to make a brief cameo, it's weak and wan and just plain doesn't get the job done??!! Though, I will confess, I do have an affection for all the varying shades of BROWN that are to be found in the desert-- though, an extended spring does render the landscape a lovely shade of dusky green. But gray ain't no kinda brown!
By your (ironic, I assume) mention of post-menopausal women, I can see that you miss me. I may be snarky but at least I...uh... still menstruate?
Happy Saint Valentine's Day Madame.
It was overcast and raining every single day that I was in Columbus last week and it was a pleasant reprieve from the bitter cold mornings. I concede, cannot I wage this uphill battle of defending my native climate. This Iowa winter we are having is the bastard child of a filthy whore. And that is not to suggest that I am above consorting with such types.
The SAD won't get me Marjorie.
I am a new day rising.
Wow the writers have definitely returned to The Daily Show. Are you watching their take on the Roger Clemens congressional steroid hearings. When I started little league in 1986, Clemens was the biggest thing in baseball. 22 years later I'm sitting her cracking up over jokes about The Rocket bleeding through his designer pants.
While I'm on the subject of bloodletting.
I just wanted to a make a joke about how I work with so many old ladies. Previous to your comment I had never even considered menstruation to be a requirement for someone I might take a special interest in. Now that it's out there.. Yes, I would prefer that my women yet still be flowing. For now, that's probably quite enough discussion of my least favorite food.
Yes, your absolutely correct. I miss seeing your striking blue eyes and playful curly locks.
And you have very nice shoes Miss.
Nice shoes, eh? That sounds dangerously like the first half of a rather crude well-known pick-up line.
...you post one itty bitty innocuous link to a rape fantasy and look what happens...
Well if you're going to use a strange twist on a post-menopausal joke to try to lure me out, I'm just gonna bring the C- game. Actually a well placed shoe compliment can be solid work. But hair and eyes, that is hack. That's awkward beginner/creep at the bar stuff.
Did this already take and ugly turn? I didn't mean for it to. I do tend to take things a half-step too far, but I really am just being silly here.
I like to write too.
"The fire won't get me Brian"
From my little brother's all time favorite movie "Backdraft"
Ha! No, I was kidding! No worries--
Men proclaiming how fuckable I am is kinda par for the course on this blog. Right, Joe? JB? Others? Of course, I've usually baited them... but, you know, whatever gets the job done! It's the best sort of free press. I figure, the more of that message that I put out into the universe, the more likely I am to get that variety of attention in abundance.
Now, the question of how to focus the signal so that creepy old dudes and socially crippled ne'er-do-wells don't get caught in the beam? Yeah, I'm still working on that one.
But anyway, as anti-feminist as it might be, one who isn't much more than a nerd-girl in her soul of souls does what she can to (over)compensate for the lack of debauchery in her awkward adolescence.
So, ugh. There's my nauseating node of introspection for the day. I am so tedious...
"fuckable"? Such language.
Honey you've got talent, you don't need to work blue.
Wait... there are other colors?
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