Lifestyle tips from the Queen of Baltimore

Before I instruct you all to run out and rent the DVD of John Waters' one-man show, let me relay a couple of the best bits of advice I may ever have received via my television's galvanic circuitry:

"If you go home with someone and they don't have books.... don't fuck 'em!"

This, of course, begs the question of what to do when they come over to my place. I have LOTS of books-- and good ones, too-- so, by that standard, I should be up to my eyeballs in cock... but how'm I supposed to scout out someone else's shelves without insinuating invitations off my potentials? Methinks his tip has a bug.

But also:

"Next time you go vote, wear something skin tight and low-cut. When you're waiting in line, cruise people."

Done and done. But I'm only cruising people wearing Obama buttons. I'm just guessing here, but in my imagination, people wearing Obama buttons will have taste in reading materials more attuned to my own... and therefore, assuming I go home with someone I've cruised while voting, I can follow both Watersisms in one swoop.

Now. Go rent This Filthy World. Even if I wasn't a card-carrying, Waters-baptised afficionado, I would swear up and down that this film is the funniest one I've seen in years. He's smart, twisted, self-deprecating, perverted, gleeful and entirely endearing.

Go rent it. Go.