What's wrong with you people?

An appropriate name has not yet surfaced for my vehicle. And I thought my friends were all so creative...

C'mon, people, surely someone can top "The Shimmering Flicker Motor Car Experience featuring Patricia Blaze."

Sooner or later, I'm going to have to declare a winner. I can't keep this contest open indefinitely, you know. Just think of my sad, nameless car, sitting on a slight diagonal, due to my poor parking, all forlorn, out there in the parking lot... It's sad, right?

Let's name this beast already!

A Laughable Contest

OK, so, I know this is only going to be a test of how truly paltry my readership really is. But, I have a new car and *it* (*it* will remain non-gender-specific until appropriate nomenclature is determined) needs a name. My old car was kinda champagne-colored, and because my last name is "Wine," it was only logical that its (it remained un-gendered for the duration of its lifetime) name was "Sparklin'."

The new car is silver. It does not have a cracked transmission case and--this is the best part--the "check engine" lamp isn't even ON!!! That's really all you need to know. Have at it. Name away!

Look at it this way: because so few people read this blog, and even fewer still are going to actually submit a name for consideration, your chances of winning are tremendous!

The prize will be, uh, a congratulatory mention on this very blog. And if I like the winner, and the winner lives within a reasonable proximity to my person, I will also hug the winner. What more could you want?

OK, I'm gonna go ahead and rule out "Poopsy." "Sugar-tits" is still in contention, though. As is "Hagelian Dialectic."

(Nobody call my car "Poopsy," OK?)