Vacation Goals

Under cover of night, I've scuttled back into Nash Vegas. Upon exiting Concourse C, I found my father, fast asleep in the kiss-n-cry area on the main floor of BNA. I plopped down next to him, jarring him awake, proclaiming, "Well, hello, old man! What gives? Asleep in public?" At first he protested: "I'm not an old man." But then, I think, as he regained wakefulness, he reconsidered and agreed that he is, indeed, an old man who falls asleep in public.

Anyway, I think it's high time I set forth the scope of this vacation. Here is a list of some stuff I hope to accomplish:

1) Watch at least 12 films at the Nashville Film Festival. I've already bought tickets for 10 and the other two are contingent only on whether or not my friend Jen gets called into work. With luck, I might even find time to see a couple of non-festival films, too.

2) Write blog posts about at least 6 of the films I see before heading home a week from Saturday. This is a daunting task. Finding time to both process the films and write about them was a great challenge last year. But it's also the lion's share of the point of why I try to attend this festival every year.

3)Test this recipe. I'm having some friends from that old job (the one I quit yesterday) over when I get home and I think this recipe is fancy enough to satisfy my desire to show off, but conservative enough for those wary of my own more experimental dessert-related palate.

4) Test this recipe. This one is definitely far more my style. And I know at least a few of my friends will get a kick out of its weirdness. One of these friends, upon perusing the link I sent her, said, "Good god, that blog is total porn!" And given the cupcake/sex metaphor that seems to be gaining ground within the collective unconscious, I think she's probably right. These are not just cupcakes. They are lusty cupcakes.

5) Read the entirety of my mom's copy of The Omnivore's Dilemma. I've been meaning to read that damn book pretty much since it came out, but have yet, despite owing my firstborn to Amazon, to purchase my own copy. So, even though she's currently in New Orleans doing foodie things, I've stolen her copy without permission and hope to surreptitiously replace it before she even notices it's missing (or, uh, reads this post).

6) Relish Nashville in all its end-of-April glory. If ever anyone gets a yen to visit my li'l hometown here, I highly recommend doing it at this time of year. It's pretty consistently sunny and temperatures range from mid-60s to mid-80s. It's lush with yellowish fringe on everything that will be green within days. The redbuds are petering out and the dogwoods are riotous. All I really need is a cucumber-chili pepper paleta from Las Paletas and a park bench and I'm a happy chiquita.

7) Avoid sexual congress with a person with whom I have had an extended gray-area entanglement. I love you, punkin, but I think it unwise. Maybe saying it in a public forum will help me hold to my resolve? (Please don't kick my ass for saying it in a public forum!)

8) Compensate for #7 by making out with my dog (who lives with my parents as my DC lifestyle does not support his free-loading ways (or his need to pee more than twice a day)) a lot. Upon my arrival last night, he just about shivered himself out of his skin, he was so happy to see me. When he's really blissed out, he gets this totally retarded expression on his face-- his eyes get all squinty and he draws up his considerable jowls into this funny grin and he'll press the side of his face into mine: "Kiss me, Mom! Kiss me!" This is the look that keeps me in love with him, despite our extended separations. Ugh. God. I miss having a dog. And my dad's making him fat, dammit!

9) Squeeze in at least 5 full-out yoga practices and 6 Pilates floorwork sessions. All those cupcake tastings and paletas are gonna make me fat (not to mention the visits to DaVinci's, The Family Wash, Nola, and whereever else I might go so as to partake in Nashville's finest comestibles). And we all know how neurotic I am about getting fat. That's simply NOT an option.

So, I've only got 8 days here. It's quite a lot through which I need to bluster. Anon, anon...