Sommer tagged me. I imagine she did so because I've been known to empty my guts here anyway... so what's one more time? Her list is funnier than mine could ever aspire to be, but I'll play even anyway.
What were you doing 5 years ago?
1. Reciting daily affirmations that I was not a shitty poet. Writing shitty poems even anyway.
2. Flirting shamelessly with anything with a dick while my girlfriend fretted and raged about it.
3. Perfecting my recipe for red velvet cake.
4. Learning Tantric sex in theory but not in practice.
5. Having a Berry Road Teatonic at Xoom Juice.
What are 5 things (in no particular order) on your to-do list for today?
1. Try not to buy anything off the internet. (a near miss but so far so good)
2. Try not to buy anything in real life. (so far so good)
3. Make it through the day without flirting with any married men. (No dice. He started it.)
4. Find new realtor who isn't a racist. (I have a lead!)
5. Think up a 5th thing for this list.
5. Think up a 5th thing for this list.
What are 5 snacks you enjoy?
1. lentils
2. tomatoes
3. Valrhona 85%
4. sunflower seed butter
5. cupcakes
What are 5 things you'd do if you were a billionaire?
1. Spend the rest of my life in school, not accruing debt.
2. Buy a plot of land near Tucson and start an organic herb farm. I might also open a little all-organic cafe on the premises.
3. Expand my shoe budget.
4. Buy a condo in DC that is BOTH over 500 sq. ft. AND close to a damn metro station. Deal to be brokered by a non-racist realtor.
5. Give most of the rest of it to this organization, to be distributed amongst their campaigns.
Crap. I can't do all that at once, can I?
What are 5 of your bad habits?
1. Walking into a room and immediately scanning to see if there's anyone in there who looks like he or she might want to have sex with me.
2. Walking into a room and immediately scanning to see if there's anyone in there with whom I might want to have sex.
3. Lecturing friends, acquaintances and near-perfect strangers on the dangers of ingesting artificial sweeteners.
4. Driving a car.
5. Reading sex blogs on non-secure computers.
What are 5 places you have lived?
1. A townhouse in the Lincoln Park area of Chicago.
2. A half-assed catfish farm in Bumfuck, Tennessee.
3. A splendid bungalow in the Sonoran Desert.
4. A shithole in a cool neighborhood in Nashville.
5. A mediocre condo not owned by me in Alexandria , Virginia.
What are 5 jobs you have had?
1. Dog hotel reservationist.
2. Graduate student grunt for the best facility on the University of Arizona campus.
3. Unenthusiastic seller of everything that is not a book in a bookstore.
4. Hand-beader of debutante gowns.
5. Torturer of children/standardized test developer.
Which 5 people do you want to tag ? (suckahs!)
2. Laura Smith
4. Jai Sanders
5. Mr. Jimmy
2 comments:
I can usually be counted on not to participate in these, how you say, memes? This time I can be counted on not to be relied upon.
But I warn you, my responses will get boring really fast, especially after yours.
Then make stuff up, for heaven's sake!
Post a Comment